Comfort & Grief

Pain & healing.
Grief & comfort.
Thoughts?
In the midsts of suffering God is with you.
God alone is enough.
Being whole can be an answer to prayer for healing.
You still have things to learn about God and yourself and sometimes suffering does in fact make you stronger.
I can always remember someone - who was it? who said when a woman loses her mother it is a real turning point - you can no longer throw everything over your shoulder.
It is a tough blow to take.
God gave me a family to take care of, so I was quite literally so 'on the go' I couldn't just grind to a halt.
Grief does come in waves - that is something else I recall a workmate saying - Michelle - and it is so true, you can be standing in a shop or watching a TV Show and it will roll over you.
There is a feeling of unfairness and sadness.
Being sad is allowed.
I tried to fit in a song that I related to in a worship plan I am doing for tomorrow, but it was too hard to obtain the song.
These Small Hours by Rob Thomas -
Let it go,
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
I recall my first day back to work after my Dad's death and funeral.
I remember standing in a newsagency in the Arkabah shopping centre, on the way to somewhere, or just getting some lunch, can't remember - anyway, this song came on in the shop and I just felt my legs feel like water - it was a tough day. Truth be known I may have just gone to the shops to get out for a while.
I am going to review all the bible readings for tomorrow.
Yey, though I walk through the valley of death, you God will be with me.

I'm Talking About the Man in the Mirror

What a deluge of grief today for Michael Jackson.
TV, radio, internet and print media scrambling to make sense of an unexplained event.
Behind the scenes the grief must be intense for family members, even estranged family will feel a loss.
There is a strange feeling of mixed emotions when a tarnished icon dies. There is part of me that doesn't want to believe he was capable of child molestation, but another that says he quite clearly stepped over the line.
My favourite song was 'Ben' achingly innocent, take me back along way.
As has been commented in the media, he was born into show business and has certainly died in the spotlight.
The spotlight will be intense for the next few weeks- how will he really be remembered?

I got a Whopper!

8 out of 8 in my footy tips - yes!

Car decides it won't go - time to get a new one?

Car decides to randomly stop working after music lesson.
Mechanic can't get it going, so it is towed to another mechanic to look at in the morning.
Result two hours gone and connection with two of the neighbours.
The good news is it wasn't too serious - $95 for a faulty switch, ? what switch, that does what???
It does pay to be in the RAA.

Glorious Irises

Am I inspired about organizing my tax return?
Filling out insurance claim forms?
Cleaning and ironing?
Not likely.
I am looking forward to an Adelaide day on Wednesday.
Planning a worship service - except for the small matter of illiteracy on powerpoint.
Reading 'Unpolished Gem' & other saved gems.
Rediscovering my oven.
Enjoying a winter walk.
Fossicking in the op shop.
Setting up my own study - yes!
Thanks to my friends for the friends picture, movie tix, note paper and irises - glorious.

Demystifying Schizophrenia

Doing a pre-workshop activity on writing for publication.
How about Demystifying schizophrenia.
The name schizophrenia is so hard to spell and write and the stigma still so great.
Psychosis in remission sounds a bit better - but still like a death sentence.
Needs to be given a more hopeful outlook - research paper pending...

Lady Grey tea & Lemonade Scones

Christened my new oven,
Made cucumber sandwiches.
Discovered Lady Grey tea at the age of 49.
Good turn out-:
Thankyou ladies.
Two people remembered the book swap, but I know the right books found their new owners.
Save the bubbly for another day.
Tired this afternoon - blurry thoughts.

Tales of sleep disturbances from the worrier

Status anxiety.
Accounts that are 'locked in' immediately.
Death of my uncle George.
Calls about worship planning.
Arranging violin graduation - times two.
Arranging for purchase of new school shoes.
Getting licence for son, learners for other son in waiting
Booking holiday to Cairns
Follow up phone calls to Sister.
Applying for conferences
Hosting a high tea
Ordering a 'D' String
Going to an extra violin lesson and forfeiting a film night
Buying more books
Work struggles
Worry wears you down

Credit card hustle

Lets bounce this credit through the roof!
Oven, bed, camera, watch, flights, car service, accommodation, licence, shoes and er.... entertainment!
Lots on offer.
Going to pay a few other boring bills and get my book club book and book up some cup cakes.
I have consulted a few travel agents and yes I am still alive, but I am always, always looking for the best offer.
Settled on Jetstar and a 2 for 1 Hilton Cairns deal, which includes breakfast.
Bonza!
Now just have to do the tours - reef, rainforest and rail.
I have a silly habit of using Jenny Esots in third person terms- Jenny Esots is on track to spend, spend, spend.
Didn't include conference fee.
Jenny get that tax organized now.

It's a bleary birthday morning..................

Jet lagged from too many commitments.
Work demarcations, neighbourhood garden dilemas, school exam blues, orchestra SOS's, market day roster assignment, church band presentations & domestic delivery angst.
I haven't mentioned the birthday high tea, that I am going to go all out for.
The Desgin a Christmas Poster Competition I set up.
Things I love at the moment-:
Wet dog kisses from Holly-Roo
Wet moustache kisses from my hubbie
My new friend Suzanne who is doing the cleaning - a lot better than I can.
Winter days that are ice cold
Reading on the train into Adelaide
Seeing a film at the Palace Nova, just about to see Is Anyone There? With Michael Caine.
My continued quest for the daily double shot soy latte (Cibo today in Rundle Street - good coffee, but not enough quantity, plus noisy radio/music on).
In the process of booking a holiday in Cairns - 7 days in July - why not?!!!!

Late night TV - Thank goodness for the ABC.

Rita Hayworth as Gilda.
x3 B Movies
Vera Drake - ultra serious dirge mvoie on SBS
Foyle's War on the ABC - Top Class stuff, except I am tired. Worth staying up for however, or I could tape it or borrow the DVD. Jenny check the library catalogue now.

Dancing as medicine

I 'm getting good at titles(!)
Was at the Seacliff pub last night for a few farewells.
Very loud music - a bit on the distorted side.
Some tunes sounded vaguely familiar - some not.
I moved around a bit in a resemblance of dancing - but I am not that good at dancing 'with' people, if you know what I mean - I like to groove along, but not in close contact with some one else - too nervous? self concscious?? yeah all that.
Money was lost, a tatoo was got & people were yelling or was it singing - I had two Stella's and left about 11.15 ish.
Anyway it was too loud to get caught up in knots about work - so that's a good thing.
Cheers again.

Art & spirituality - the blood of life

City Soul is a new off shoot of the Uniting church that meets to discuss art and spirituality.
Sounds right up my street!
Jaz is exhibiting soon - June 23rd opening at Studio 22 in Waymouth Street.
I will be there.
Also going to see a film called Disgrace based on a book by JM Cootzee - 891 opening - I've found a new place to dwell with premiere movie tix - now that Dymocks seems to have dried up.
A am on bonus schemes at a number of movie places ie the capri, Marion Megaplex, Palace Nova and have entertainment vouchers for Wallis.
Thinking about blood - that thick, messy substance that keeps us together in more ways than one.
Have also been thinking about Christmas - have an idea for a design a Christmas Poster competition - 1. Great exposure for the festival 2. I have run out of ideas(!) 3. I don't have Jasmine as my fallback anymore 4. We will hopefully have art work to display at the festival.
Cheers.

So sad the song

Gladys Night and the Pips.
Haven't heard it in ages.
Will just have to request it

Being flexible and frustrated at the same time...

Have been entirely flexible with my working hours today.
Having managed to squeeze in my first trip to Gold Class cinema.
Saw this purely because it fitted in time wise.
Angels and Demons thriller - it was nearly the end of the Vatican, Rome and the pope in one day(!)
Then had to cope with the immense frustrations of being involved with the neighbours collective finances - quotes were sought and locked in before it came to light that some one else had had gutters delivered - was I angry?
I feel it is going nowhere with getting finances in order - but I have restrained myself from writing a nasty email.
The politics at TPC are also festering. With two people off on stress leave.
I care but I am also mindful that my job is to be a professional, not a nanny.
Drinks for some farewells tonight.

Buying the right oven

is not so easy.
Will I get free standing or wall.
White or stainless steel.
Grill above oe below oven.
Tray fittings with detachable metal or not.
Price?
Yeah, it's only been 6 months without one(!)
Just had a frustrating time trying to access my work email, I knew it would be futile.
Anyway i will shortly get a hard drive computer and find out how to access the damn emails.

Death as poetic moment

Apparently death can be poetic.
But I don't think people often manage to program their whole dying expereince into something poetic.
Getting the energy to plan every part of your life is unrealistic.
It can't even be done when your're well(!)
I have 7 minutes left on this computer.
I do recommend The Household Guide for Dying by Debra Adelaide - not that I could relate to it all, but it was constucted so well.
Loved the little Dear 'Help Me' letters.
People looking for domestic secrets and help for their love life.
Not that I am ever likely to get hung up about the perfect soufle.

Tales of life without my recycling bin.

Recycling crisis at number 27.
It just dissappeared last recycling day and failed to come back to me.
Have been heard begging to the council to deliver another one before Monday, or else it would be a months worth of recycling banked up. And I recycle a lot.
More than one bin can handle, but I make do with one.
It was pretty obvious it was mine - plastered in stickers.
So I have ceremoniously put a new sticker on the new bin - 'wot flies'
Just how people do a cruise by for recycling bins I don't know.
Apparently they are wanted for storage of water, so the policeman told me when I reported it.
Have strated reading my 4 cent book.

What's the deal on hair styles

I have got a long awaited appointment tomorrow.
Have never been a big fan of the hairdresser.
Probably since my mum made me have a 'proper' hair cut which I think made me look like a boy, and that is a traumatizing experience.
You'd think I'd have got over it by now wouldn't you.
So I don't want hair in my face anymore - whatever the style is, it drives me to distraction and I end up lumping it into a head band - which looks pretty severe.
Hopefully the time in Norwood will be fun ie retail therapy(!)

A cosy place

Here in my cosy home I have managed to get the lap top operational.
I have one more shift until five days off.
Rest for the body, mind and soul.
Am investigating signage for Willunga Unitng Church.
Invites for a high tea - number 49 birthday.
Gutters for the barn.
Painting two bedrooms.
Reading a half a dozen novels, including finishing The Household Guide to Dying.
The girls over for book club last night - what is going on with the font?
Yikes, computers have a vicious streak in them!

1 cent for a book & more......

Yes I paid one red cent for a book ordered on Amazon - but postage was about $15 I think.
So the book I got for four cents at Target is the real bargain.
Don't know if it was a mistake, but when I got home I looked at the receipt and yep, 4 cents - The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galazxy - a book I have been meaning to read for ages.
It was a discount day, but 4 cents??
The Amazon one is a book I read over half of for book club and then had to hand it back. It was then found to be only available in the book club set - so what to do?
It is not exactly a current release - but I want to know how it all comes together.
The Master Burchers Singing Club.
So miss my reading days while on Jury Duty - so many books.
Book club kicks off tonight at my house.
- I know I can do this hospitality thing, without going insane(!)